May 2013
1 tag
alleffortsmade:
Death Cab For Cutie // Tiny...
Anonymous asked: so what's up
2073:
money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
why do 128 people follow me, this blog contributes literally nothing to any of your lives.
there is no enlightening opinion,
no breaking news,
no witty one line text post,
no funny, stupid picture of an animal.
this blog is reblogs of other people’s cool shit peppered with the worthless whinings of an 18 year old from American suburbia.
hawkenchilada:
bioWHERE IS DRAGON AGE III
riseofthecommonwoodpile:
seriously 12 Angry Months is one of the only truly honest breakup albums I’ve heard because it just has EVERYTHING in it and doesn’t hide anything and I’m gonna gush now but
“my image of you shattered, winning is all that matters” “and to think I used to fuck you” “I can’t believe that you’ve replaced me” “If I was to be hard-pressed, I’d lie and say I’m not obsessed ”...
my skills include hesitating, missing opportunities, and being full of regret
marrymyface:
bisexual guys are assumed to be secretly gay
bisexual girls are assumed to be secretly straight
both are assumed to secretly like men
see what i’m getting at?
allthatfolkingjazz:
i dont even want to be a person anymore i just want to be a disembodied spirit that sends people cute animal gifs and laughs at the jokes no one else hears
i have really weird irrational fears of the dark and of thunderstorms that aren’t always there, but just kind of creep in from my childhood psyche every once in a while.
Anonymous asked: Name two things you like about your life and then message (anon or otherwise) your 8 closes friends from real life on tumblr to do the same. Spread happiness
1 tag
I’d honestly rather continue to watch Futurama than go to my High School graduation
wilwheaton:
I really hope Yahoo doesn’t fuck up Tumblr like it’s fucked up … well, every single thing it’s ever touched in the history of the universe.
richwhitelesbian:
Write The Best Content Of Your Life By Having Constant Panic Attacks And Using Your Mental Instability To Create A Facade Of Creativity And Turn This All Into A Crutch For Your Fragile Ego + Sense Of Self
woah how did you
Florida Teen Expelled, Charged With Felony For... →
fuckyeahmarxismleninism:
A Florida family says their 18-year-old daughter was charged with a felony and expelled from high school as a result of a consensual, same-sex relationship with another student.
Kaitlyn Hunt started dating a female classmate at the beginning of the school year when she was 17 and the girl she was dating was 15. According to an account posted to Facebook by Kaitlyn’s...
gothlolita:
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
1 tag
geometricdeathtrap:
metallikato:
generallegendary:
metallikato:
jewelstaites:
how to give a good handjob
bop it
pull it
twist it
harder
better
faster
stronger
You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about!
Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
lydiallama:
you know those characters that you just
1 tag
who the fuck has a Vine and wants to engage in some mutual following? I am Sam Nuccio.
1 tag
